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Lesson from How to Win Friends and Influence People By Dale Carnegie

**”How to Win Friends and Influence People”** by Dale Carnegie is a classic book on interpersonal skills, offering timeless principles for better communication, leadership, and relationship-building. Here are the core lessons from the book:

### 1. **Fundamental Techniques in Handling People**
– **Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain**: Criticism makes people defensive and resentful. Instead, encourage and inspire.
– **Give honest and sincere appreciation**: People crave appreciation. Be genuine in showing gratitude.
– **Arouse in the other person an eager want**: Understand what the other person wants and frame things in a way that benefits them.

### 2. **Six Ways to Make People Like You**
– **Become genuinely interested in other people**: Focus on others, ask questions, and listen attentively.
– **Smile**: A simple smile can warm people to you and make them feel comfortable.
– **Remember that a person’s name is, to them, the sweetest sound**: Use people’s names in conversation to make them feel valued.
– **Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves**: Let people share their stories. Listening builds rapport.
– **Talk in terms of the other person’s interests**: People are naturally drawn to conversations that relate to their own passions and interests.
– **Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely**: Every person wants to feel significant. Validate their thoughts and contributions.

### 3. **Win People to Your Way of Thinking**
– **The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it**: Arguments usually end with both sides feeling bruised. Seek understanding, not conflict.
– **Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”**: Disagree tactfully, without making the other person feel attacked.
– **If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically**: Taking responsibility for mistakes builds trust and respect.
– **Begin in a friendly way**: Set a positive tone right from the start to foster collaboration.
– **Let the other person feel that the idea is theirs**: People are more committed to ideas they believe are their own.
– **Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view**: Empathy is key in understanding motivations and perspectives.
– **Appeal to the nobler motives**: People want to feel they are acting with integrity and purpose. Appeal to their sense of pride and honor.
– **Dramatize your ideas**: Present your ideas in an interesting, memorable way to capture attention.
– **Throw down a challenge**: Encourage competition and challenge people to excel, as it motivates them to put forth their best effort.

### 4. **Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment**
– **Begin with praise and honest appreciation**: Start feedback with a positive comment to make the person feel acknowledged.
– **Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly**: Phrase your feedback tactfully to avoid making others feel attacked.
– **Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person**: Show humility and openness about your own flaws.
– **Ask questions instead of giving direct orders**: Invite suggestions and input to foster a cooperative spirit.
– **Let the other person save face**: Help people maintain their dignity, even when they’re wrong or need correction.
– **Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement**: Encourage people by recognizing even small achievements.
– **Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to**: Set high expectations for others by framing them as capable and competent.
– **Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct**: Inspire confidence in others by making challenges seem surmountable.
– **Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest**: Frame your requests in ways that benefit the other person, and show enthusiasm.

### Key Takeaway:
Dale Carnegie’s key insight is that **people are motivated by their desire to feel important, appreciated, and understood**. Effective communication and influence come from showing genuine interest in others, encouraging collaboration, and helping people feel good about themselves and their contributions.

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Flueng Manifesto

Flueng Manifesto:

The Values & Belief System of  the persistent and passionate FLUENG ATHLETE

 

  1. Speak like a Superstar.
  2. Take 100% responsibility for your life.
  3. Believe in CANI (Continuous and Never Ending Improvement).
  4. No complain.No excuse.Get it done no matter what.
  5. Turn Your Problems into Opportunities.
  6. Have Big Hairy audacious Goals(BHAG).
  7. 80% Action.20% Planning.(Pareto principle)
  8. Associate with people who are better than you.Because you are the average of 5 people who you hangout with.
  9. Believe that if you make a Commitment and You’ll Move Mountains!
  10. Do one thing every day that scares you.
  11. When forced to compromise,ask for more.
  12. If it’s worth doing, it’s got to be done right now.
  13. Take Risks & Be Brave.
  14. All growth starts at the end of your comfort zone.Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
  15. Get Out There and Fail.Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again,this time more intelligently.
  16. Don’t walk when you can run.
  17. The best way to predict the future is to create it yourself.
  18. Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.
  19. If you think something is impossible/possible, then it becomes the reality for you.
  20. Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.

 

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Lesson learned from Eat that frog by Brian tracy

**”Eat That Frog!”** by Brian Tracy is a popular book focused on time management, productivity, and overcoming procrastination. The central metaphor, “eat that frog,” refers to tackling your biggest and most important task first thing in the day—the task you’re most likely to procrastinate on. Here are the key lessons from the book:

### 1. **Tackle Your Most Important Task First (“Eat That Frog”)**
– **Identify your “frog”**: Your “frog” is the most important task that will have the biggest impact on your success. This is usually the task you’re most likely to procrastinate on.
– **Do it first**: Always start your day by tackling your hardest or most important task. This builds momentum and makes everything else feel easier.

### 2. **Set Clear Priorities**
– **Plan every day in advance**: Write down your tasks the night before or at the start of the day. Prioritize them so you know which tasks are most important.
– **Apply the 80/20 Rule (Pareto Principle)**: Focus on the 20% of tasks that will produce 80% of your results. Not all tasks are equal; identifying and concentrating on the most valuable tasks is crucial for success.
– **Use the ABCDE Method**: Label your tasks A (most important) to E (least important). Complete the A tasks first—those that have the biggest consequences if not done.

### 3. **Plan and Break Tasks Down**
– **Break tasks into small steps**: Large tasks can feel overwhelming, so break them down into manageable steps. This makes them less intimidating and easier to start.
– **Single-handling**: Focus on one task at a time without switching between tasks. Multitasking leads to inefficiency and distractions.

### 4. **Use the Power of Deadlines and Time Blocks**
– **Set deadlines**: Deadlines create a sense of urgency and help you stay focused. Even if the task doesn’t have an external deadline, create one for yourself.
– **Time blocking**: Allocate specific time blocks for specific tasks. This ensures that you have dedicated time to work on important tasks without distractions.

### 5. **Develop Self-Discipline**
– **The habit of starting**: Self-discipline is a muscle, and the more you exercise it, the stronger it gets. Developing the habit of starting tasks immediately is key to overcoming procrastination.
– **Take action immediately**: Procrastination is a habit that can be broken by forcing yourself to take the first step, no matter how small.
– **Visualize completion**: Imagine the feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment after completing the task. This can motivate you to take action.

### 6. **Focus on Results, Not Just Activities**
– **Results-oriented work**: Always ask yourself, “What results am I trying to achieve?” and focus on tasks that directly contribute to your goals.
– **Concentrate on high-value activities**: Ensure that most of your time is spent on activities that move you closer to your objectives, rather than being busy with low-value tasks.

### 7. **Leverage Your Strengths**
– **Identify your key strengths**: Focus on tasks that align with your strengths and where you can add the most value. Delegate or minimize tasks that fall outside your expertise.
– **Continuous learning**: Always seek to improve your skills. The better you become at your key tasks, the more productive you’ll be.

### 8. **Use Technology Wisely**
– **Limit distractions**: Modern technology can be a source of distractions, so use it wisely. Turn off notifications, limit time on social media, and set boundaries for communication.
– **Leverage productivity tools**: Use technology that helps streamline and automate your workflow, such as task management apps, calendars, or time trackers.

### 9. **Create Positive Work Habits**
– **Work in your energy zone**: Pay attention to when you’re most productive (morning, afternoon, etc.) and schedule your most important tasks during those peak times.
– **Develop daily routines**: Good habits, like starting each day with planning and prioritization, can improve productivity over time.

### 10. **Commit to Continuous Improvement**
– **Kaizen principle**: Continuously look for ways to improve your work habits and productivity skills. Small, consistent improvements over time lead to significant progress.
– **Personal responsibility**: Recognize that your success and productivity are in your hands. Take full responsibility for your time and results.

### Key Takeaway:
The central lesson of **”Eat That Frog!”** is that **successful people tackle their most important and difficult tasks first**. By focusing on priorities, using time effectively, and developing self-discipline, you can eliminate procrastination and dramatically increase productivity.

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